I'm Guilty of Guilt

 

Guilt

: feelings of deserving blame especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy.

 

    Isn’t it amusing how our minds are capable of creating such an undeniable emotion?

I am guilty that my frequent emotion is, Guilt.

According to Merriam-Webster this means I have given offenses and inadequacy.

And for what? 

Living my life the way I choose to.

Sounds crazy, right?

I have constructed a life that works best for me.

I live intentionally.

I create my own schedule as a Massage Therapist & I love what I do,

I live in a beautiful area of Austin for low rent,

I spend many of my evenings dancing Tango or Salsa,

I give myself time to exercise and practice yoga,

I have rituals each morning and night to keep me connected to the divine, 

I travel to exotic countries several times a year,

I continually partake in trainings in which I evolve and expand my mind,

 

There are several areas in my life in which I feel, Fully Grateful.

 

But for some reason this original sense of gratitude 

can be devious and convert itself into

Guilt. 

 

It stems from the diseased habit of 

 comparing my life to others.  

 

They may not see their own freedom, 

their resources, 

their abundance, 

or abilities.

 

This causes guilt deep within my being. 

Why am I gifted with this enjoyable life and they have to struggle?

Some say, “It’s their Karma,”

Or, “they need to do their own work,”

 

I just feel guilty.

 

And not only from those whom are “underprivileged”

But from those who are so locked into the ways we 

DO THINGS

in the American way of Life. 

 

This may result in my anxiety of,

“I need to be doing more.”

 

I practice presence, 

I move intuitively through this world

and this feels natural for me.

 

But often I get intimidated by our culture.

 

“I must market my business more.”

“I must make more money so I can have a nicer car.”

“I must work harder so I can live in a newer home.”

 

If I am gifted with the freedom to choose,

Life to me is about living, not becoming a slave to work.

 

I choose 

Happiness,

Pride,

and the Passion to live my life without Guilt.